Saturday, March 29, 2014

Get me to the church on time

I had been waiting for this day for months. I had even been talking about it for months, to anyone who didn't have a choice would listen. M was getting married! She was the last of my close college friends to get married, but more importantly (because of course everything is/was about me), this was the first time I was attending a church wedding. I had seen church weddings in the movies of course. How grand the churches were. How beautiful and sober the decorations. How the music started as the bride walked in. How everyone gasped and murmured in admiration at her stunning wedding dress. Then the priest said some stuff important things and the bride and groom said "I do" so that they could go ahead and kiss. Hallelujah! (I think I'm using the word wrongly here, but it feels right in my head, so it stays.)

It was also an afternoon/evening wedding followed by dinner - something unheard of. Bengalis always got married late at night when everyone was starting to subtly nod off after a giant meal. So in the early afternoon Nil (another college friend) and I got dressed excitedly at my house, hailed an auto and left. As the auto lurched forward, I thought of the invitation card I'd left on my desk and shrugged. I knew where to go. I'd been talking about it for months.

You can see where this is going now, can't you?

We got off at the Sacred Heart, near the General Post Office. As we slipped through the partly open iron gates and began walking up the drive, I got the feeling something was wrong. Shouldn't it feel more festive? We came to the imposing, tall doors of the church itself, and they were closed. Hmmm, thought my inner self, wouldn't her family/sisters be at the door to welcome guests? We aren't that early! Now Nil and I hesitated at the door. I was doubtful, but Nil trusted me. I'd airily told her I knew exactly where to go. So she hung back, willing me to go first. I paused. Maybe I've got the time wrong? What if I push open these giant doors and the ceremony is actually going on? What if these doors open with a squeak and everyone looks at us in the silence? 

I took a deep breath and pushed the door. It opened noiselessly. And there, before me, was the entire church hall - polished pews, a beautiful altar at the far end, high ceilings, and not a soul in sight. Till I spotted, in the last row, just next to the door where I stood, a bride with her head bent in prayer, a veil covering her head and, sadly, hiding her face.

Interesting. Isn't the bride usually the last to arrive? That's what I'd learnt from Hollywood. This is not M, I knew. I closed the door and stepped back into the porch. Nil looked at me. I could tell from her face she was having serious doubts about trusting me with the entire thing.

"No one's here," I said.
"Well, maybe they are late?" she asked hopefully.
"No, someone would have been here by now to seat the guests."
"Do you think there's another church in here somewhere? It's a big compound after all," she raised a ray of possibility.

We hurried off - an odd, worried sight in our finery as we wandered past a large field and towards nothing that looked anything like a church. We felt too embarrassed to ask anyone if there was another church beyond the, you know, church.

I stopped. It was time to come clean. I cleared my throat.

"Ummm, I think I may have the wrong church."
"Take out the card, let's check."
"Ummm, about that.....it's sitting on my desk at home."
"So, what do we do?"
"I don't know."
"Call Q."
"I won't."
"Come on."
"I won't."
"Come on."
"No," I insisted, not wanting to lose patience with the friend I had let down.
"Why not?"
"What if he isn't invited?"
"Why won't he be?"
"Nil, he's her ex boyfriend. I'm not calling him to check where M is getting married!"

We stood in silence for a bit. Then...

"Call M!"
"Huh? She won't have her cellphone on her!"
"Of course she will, it's her wedding. I'm sure lots of people will be calling to wish her."
"But where do you carry a cellphone when you're wearing a wedding dress?"

Nil finally dealt me the blow I'd been waiting for: "If you'd brought the card, we'd have an RSVP number to call."

No, Nil. If I'd brought the card we'd know which church to go to.

"Okay, fine, let me try calling M. We have nothing to lose," I admitted. So I dialled, and it rang, and rang, and rang, and...finally, (Hallelujah), M picked up.

"Anna?" she sounded (suitably) surprised.
"M, where is the wedding? We are at the Sacred..." she cut me off. "It's the Church of Divine Redemption you idiot. It's near Sacred Heart."
"Okay, okay, we're coming. Don't get married till we get there!"

But she'd already hung up. Must have been busy.

Well, we scampered as best as we could in our wedding best, and threw ourselves into an auto, hanging out of it pitifully as we asked for directions every 20 metres. Better safe than sorry.

We reached 5 minutes before the bride. It was a beautiful ceremony. I'm just glad we made it to the church on time. 

6 comments:

Mallika Ganguly said...

haha you are a chump Ana ! And running around like this in a mad caper at this time ... well..

Thinking Cramps said...

Heh heh, Mallika! I should have clarified that this story is from 2004. But, a decade later, not much has changed :) At least I'm consistent!!!

Sue said...

Only you! I'm still laughing.

Sukanya Bora said...

This reminds me of a time when I dragged my entire family to a little baby's rather fancy annaprassanna...the kids and I dressed in traditional finery.
Yours was a church, mine an upscale Indian restaurant which turned out to be locked that sunday afternoon. Later I find out that they close for a few hours before they open their doors again at 5pm. Just like you I had left the card at home, traveled almost an hour to get to event on a wrong DAY!. The annaprassanna was on the following Sunday!!
Welcome to the club Ana! Although clearly I am worse than you.

dipali said...

What fun! I'm so glad you made it in time!

A Muser said...

So funny, Ana! Hope the wedding was as wonderful as you'd imagined. I love Catholic receptions. I used to live next to Macronells roof garden on St. Andrews Road, and saw maybe hundreds of receptions hanging from my bedroom window. They always looked like so much fun.