Thursday, February 09, 2012

Kabootar ja ja ja

Dear Pigeons,

I'm sorry, but this is personal now. You used me. And I'm fighting back.

Two months ago, you were homeless, and I let you nest on the ledge outside my window. It was a pretty home, wasn't it - with flower pots, a pink, blooming bougainvillea that gave you privacy, and a paper lamp that I stopped using when I thought the light may bother you when you were trying to sleep and my party was just getting started.

I guess it was the privacy that did it - you were soon caring for 2 eggs, and this was a haven, no cats at this floor, fresh air but a protective grille, and a wide ledge where you could stretch your legs when you got tired of sitting on the eggs.

But you've been terrible house guests.

You pecked at all my flowers. You flapped around the delicate fern and destroyed it. You broke the smaller pots. And when you stretched your legs you also decided, 'what the hell, I'll just use this as a toilet too.' The spot by the window was the most coveted in all our tiny house. But sitting there was soon an overpowering olfactory experience. Human guests who didn't know about you sat there and sniffed suspiciously at the air before avoiding eye contact with me. If I left the window open on lovely afternoons you strutted in, did your stuff, and walked out.

Once your babies learnt to fly and left, we cleared up the nest and put a lot of effort into cleaning the ledge. It involved going through a lot of crap, believe me.

And now - you're trying to come back. Already? More eggs? I'm sorry, its not going to happen. Correction: It's not going to happen HERE. So if you're wondering why I keep coming to the (shut) window and hammering on the glass to shoo you off, now you know. Stay away. I mean it.